Happy Bloody Holidays.
welcomb back
Happy Holidays and welcome back to the Village Green. Mine was great! I went back to England and came back without any brawling in the street with the relatives/inlaws.
During the holidays we usually reflect on our loved ones: How we cherish them, miss them, need to spend quality time with them: We might have acted on those feelings some months prior by booking a trip home to see them.
Being English and more specifically from Yorkshire, my roots have a great bearing on who i am today. I've lived in the States as long as i have lived in the UK, but i still cling onto my Leeds accent.Attempts to sound American usually result in a dialect akin to a gay German. But with all my blood relations and a sixteen year old daughter over there i have plenty of reasons to visit. And what better time (you would think) than over the holidays.
But those good intentions and festive cheer can quickly evaporate in the face of challenges; logistical, financial, meteorological, psychic, you name it!
The first obstacle is the inevitable Airline price gouging during that 'special' time of year: Its capitalism gone crazy, and now the hotels and car rental companies are onto it, in case you weren't miserable (and broke) enough before even arriving. Additionally, airlines will spring all kinds of fees on you in this new era of deception marketing. Wanna fly on a plane with two wings? need a seat? planning on bringing a bag? I was charged for having a lap child last time i flew British Airways, in case you were planning to get a trip in before little Bobby turns two. "What am i paying for?" I pleaded as i fumbled for my Amex card. An infant meal and a basinette i was told. The meal never materialised and the basinette looked like a mediaeval torture device and smelled like a tramps Y-Fronts.
Spring break is usually a good opportunity to fly east, and visit my now teenaged daughter: You can sometimes get lucky with the weather and bag a cheap flight which opens up all kinds of vacation type activities: Until of course a volcano in Iceland decides to erupt,filling the atmosphere with its filthy plume. I think i was grounded for a further two weeks on that trip because of the consequent flight disruptions.I missed a ton of work, but my parents garden was never tidier.
A few years after my divorce, my ex wife decided she was going to move to Australia with my daughter. " Thats the furthest away you can go without leaving the planet!" i protested. But sure enough she went and for a short space of time i was looking at another level of commute. An ex girlfriend took pity on me and donated some of her current boyfriends business air miles .She basically gave me all the information and told me to book myself onto the next available flight. It was practically impossible to cash in the miles over Christmas, and when i did get through to someone and was able to get a seat on a plane, leaving a year later, i was presented with a new dilemna:
"The only seat left on the only plane that will get you to Sydney for Christmas day is in First Class" The nice lady at Quantas told me.
"Oh well i couldn't possibly do that" i explained.
"listen to me" she said somewhat patiently.
"A seat on this aeroplane will cost you $3000 in economy versus $30000 in first class. You will be spending 80000 versus 130000 air miles for the same seats, now you do the math."
As i wrestled with my conscience, i could hear other seats on the same plane being snapped up in the background.
"I'll take it!" i spluttered, and immediately began to rehearse what i was going to tell my ex girlfriend about the missing 130000 miles.
But i think the most draining obstacle of them all, is that strange thing that happens when families reunite and resume their old ways. The patterns re-emerge, you find yourself reverting to type and everyones worst characteristics are on display.
One visit to Spain for a family reunion was nothing short of a disaster: Flying in from New York, i was immediately greeted by my drunk younger brother who proceeded to throw up everywhere and blame it on the previous nights meal. My sister was in the midst of a breakup from a toxic relationship she was in. They would barricade themselves into their room until lunchtime. Whereupon she would emerge to have her daily conniption about there being no hot water to shower in. To cap it all off on the last day my poor dad went from bad to worse with his health and wound up rushed off the plane home to a hospital near the airport with Pneumonia.
As much as we love our families, our roots and some of our old ways, i think there's usually a reason (as well as our jobs) that we opt to live thousands of miles away from them. So if you didn't get a chance to see those closest to you this holiday,please enjoy them from a distance, sometimes its easier that way!